transcription by @jub3r7

"This is getting ridiculous now. Where did you find this contraption? How did you build it? You're not really rolling them straight :/ I'm not sure I like this at all, I don't like the noise. See what's the point! That didn't break with the contraption, so it doesn't coun- I liked that one. That one was neat and clean. It was a clean break. Don't like the noise - she was with chil- you're BEATING the child! It's just sick. It's twisted - HE was with child. Okay. Something about this is... where are these children coming from? Seems unnecessary that they're all pregnant. Just straight beating that Pepsi and their plastic. I don't like this - it's SADISTIC. This is sadistic. I don't - they're SPRITZING me!" *from other video, a man's voice, vaguely sounding like a moan: oooooooooh. oohhhh* lady: "I'm sorry. What was that?" *last bottle falls* (with disappointment) "No."

MIDNIGHT MASS (2021) created by Mike Flanagan
Book V - Gospel

Cheers to more old art

deletes you forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [you still exist as metadata]

killing myself in a tesla and just leaving it on autopilot so my corpse is in there jostling around while it crashes into things

It would almost be funnier if the AI was like in sci-fi and was functional enough to drive like a menacing asshole without actually hitting anything and periodically recharge itself.

Local shitty driver buys a Tesla

Programs the AI with his schedule

AI learns from his aggressive driving habits

One Friday Rush Hour he road rages so hard he has a heart attack and dies at the wheel

Car drives home unknowing

Next monday it leaves for work like nothing happened

Someone eventually notices but dead guy has been in the car for a few days so no one really wants to be the guy to take him out

Every day at precisely 7:55 AM the car leaves the garage, drives itself to this dude's office, and drives home 8 hours later still parading his decomposing body around the city while it swerves, cuts people off, honks, zooms through yellow lights, and stops just short of innocent pedestrians while honking rudely

Eventually the company gives his assigned parking spot to someone else so the car just starts parking somewhere else or roaming the city aimlessly. This is the only thing anyone actually does about it.

This goes on for months until there is nothing but a skeleton in moldering clothes haunting the freeways as it mindlessly commutes to and from work every monday thru friday

Legends spread of the Ghost Rider of I-45. Some genius superglues a Starbucks cup to the roof of the car so people are more likely to approach it while it's parked.

The anti-theft devices prevent anyone from removing the skeleton. Muskrat refuses to remotely disable them because he's an asshole and thinks his car continuing to commute months after its owner's death is a great publicity stunt.

The Ghost Rider's reign of terror finally ends after 2 years when the car's degraded tires blow out at 85 mph, causing it to swerve into the front of a semi and carry the restless spirit of the nameless office worker to Valhalla in a pyre of toxic lithium battery smoke

But the legend lives on

They say that every evening M-F around 6:30 PM, if you watch closely beside the off-ramp of Exit 76A, you can see the afterimage of a red sedan fly past at well over the speed limit, the ghostly skeletal figure of its passenger, too much of a dick for heaven but not cool enough for hell, still raising its bony middle finger at other motorists. Leaving no trace of its existence except a faint smell of burning batteries and plastic.

1. This is excellent
2. I was recently introduced to a short story from 1963 about exactly this

In the 1960s sci-fi writers were already like “what if your self driving car locked you inside and you couldn’t get out of if there’s a problem. Would that be Fucked Up Or What. Don’t create the torment nexus” and then Elon Musk was like “look at my exciting new self driving car that you can’t get out of if there’s a problem. I call it the Torment Nexus”

What if you put toothpaste on your dick and I used it as a toothbrush😍

MAYNARD DIXON
Migration, No 2
Oil on Canvas
20" x 30"

WILLIAM HERBERT DUNTON
The Night Guard
Oil on Canvas
20" x 16"

My dinnar

Red Dead Redemption 2 — America, 1899